all women were bigger and stronger than you
As if all men are bigger and stronger than women. Good job reinforcing stereotypes in the first fucking sentence.
And thought they were smarter
Like you do?
women were the ones who started wars
More stereotyping of men as violent brutes. How amusing. What was that about stereotypes being harmful again?
too many of your friends had been raped by women wielding giant dildos
and no K-Y Jelly
While the “giant dildos” part would be an exaggeration, women CAN and DO rape. And get away with it with an even greater chance than male rapists, AND in some cases even succeed at demanding child support from their victims. Your point?
the state trooper
who pulled you over on the New Jersey Turnpike
was a woman
and carried a gun
I’d hope she isn’t holding on to bullshit stereotypes like the author of this drivel.
the ability to menstruate
was the prerequisite for most high-paying jobs
I wonder just when this was written. If it was written anytime recently, I can only attribute this part to old truths turning into modern myths.
your attractiveness to women depended
on the size of your penis
Can you really ask that with a straight face when many women ACTUALLY judge men by the size of their penis?
every time women saw you
they’d hoot and make jerking motions with their hands
Wouldn’t give a flying fuck, because I’m thicker-skinned than to be offended by some random morons’ advances. A better question is, what if intelligent, well-cultured women were held responsible for the actions of said morons, the same way innocent men are?
women were always making jokes
about how ugly penises are
and how bad sperm tastes
Once again, a “what if” that isn’t really hypothetical at all.
you had to explain what’s wrong with your car
to big sweaty women with greasy hands
who stared at your crotch
In a garage where you are surrounded
by posters of naked men with hard-ons
I’d explain what the fuck is wrong with my car. If you can’t, hell, that’s your own lack of knowledge. And said occupation would make anyone (yes, even you) sweaty and greasy-handed, so good job judging every single car mechanic as some kind of brute. Really shows how above stereotypes you are.
men’s magazines featured cover photos
of 14-year-old boys
tucked into the front of their jeans
and articles like:
“How to tell if your wife is unfaithful”
“What your doctor won’t tell you about your prostate”
“The truth about impotence”
I’d dismiss it as tasteless bullshit meant for an audience less discerning than I. Which is the way I see a lot of pop-culture bullshit, so it’d be nothing new.
the doctor who examined your prostate
was a woman
and called you “Honey”
I’d find a doc who isn’t a sexist idiot, because I’m not misguided enough to think that all women are the same.
You had to inhale your boss’s stale cigar breath
as she insisted that sleeping with her
was part of the job
See the above answer applied to this situation.
You couldn’t get away because
the company dress code required
you wear shoes
designed to keep you from running
1.) I question exactly what companies demand their employees to wear high heels.
2.) If getting away is not an option, fighting back still is.
And the implication that high heels are “designed to keep you from running” is ever-so-slightly (or perhaps significantly more) paranoid.
And what if
after all that
women still wanted you
to love them.
I’d love those who earn my love, respect those who earn my respect, and hate those who earn my hatred, weighing each person’s worth by their individual traits, as I’m not stupid enough to rely on sweeping generalizations.
- Carol Diehl
Good job perpetuating absurd generalizations and stereotypes and attempting to present it as artsy and thoughtful, Carol.
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